{"id":8958,"date":"2019-07-29T18:57:42","date_gmt":"2019-07-29T17:57:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pamap.accessfertility.com\/ie\/2019\/07\/29\/ivf-tell-not-tell\/"},"modified":"2026-05-20T12:03:47","modified_gmt":"2026-05-20T11:03:47","slug":"ivf-tell-not-tell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.accessfertility.com\/ie\/ivf-tell-not-tell\/","title":{"rendered":"To tell or not to tell?"},"content":{"rendered":"

To tell or not to tell, well that is the very big question!<\/h3>\n

Should you tell people about your infertility<\/a>? This is a controversial topic in the TTC<\/a> community. I firmly believe that you need to ensure you have a strong support network around you given the challenges you may face. However, I also understand that you also don\u2019t want to give yourself additional worries or stresses by telling the wrong people, who may later upset you.<\/p>\n

Some of the benefits to sharing:<\/h4>\n

My experience hasn\u2019t been perfect, but it\u2019s been much easier being honest than pretending I\u2019m ok and nothing is wrong (especially when you feel rubbish, emotional and bloated).<\/p>\n

I was also putting people in a position where they may upset me or make inappropriate comments without realising, which didn\u2019t seem fair and could make people feel awful.<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t share, you\u2019re not giving those closest to you an opportunity to show that they do actually understand, care or an opportunity to show support.<\/p>\n

Telling friends about infertility<\/a> problems can help when potentially uncomfortable situations arise, such as baby showers or people making inappropriate comments.<\/p>\n

It is a challenging treatment process and it\u2019s not easy relying solely on my husband to talk to about my grief or emotions. This is partly because he is male and doesn\u2019t always understand where I\u2019m coming from, but mainly because he is grieving, stressed and emotional too. It\u2019s important to me to have some other trusted outlets to ensure I\u2019m not loading additional concerns onto my husband and that I can get support from someone outside of the immediate process who is ready with a listening ear, a nice distracting film and ice cream, different topics of conversation and\/or wine in hand, where this is needed.<\/p>\n

When you feel ill from some fertility medication<\/a> you\u2019re taking, or down after another negative pregnancy test, being able to call your sister, cousin, or friend can really help. It\u2019s also handy when unexpected things come up in your treatment \u2013 where you might need your friends or family to help you administer an injection in a restaurant\u2019s toilet cubicle at 9pm while you celebrate Uncle Joe\u2019s birthday, for example.<\/p>\n

There are always reasons for not telling people too, including:<\/h4>\n