{"id":4859,"date":"2023-01-24T12:52:23","date_gmt":"2023-01-24T12:52:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.accessfertility.com\/de\/?p=4859"},"modified":"2023-02-28T10:24:39","modified_gmt":"2023-02-28T10:24:39","slug":"coping-with-baby-loss-hannah-and-stephens-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.accessfertility.com\/de\/coping-with-baby-loss-hannah-and-stephens-story\/","title":{"rendered":"Coping with baby loss: Hannah and Stephen\u2019s story"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Baby loss is a traumatic event for anyone, at any stage. For Hannah and Stephen, the experience is something they want to share, in the hope that it might help someone else in similar circumstances. In this interview, we learn more about the loss of Henry, and where Hannah and Stephen\u2019s fertility journey has taken them since then.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Coping
Photo credit: Stephanie Hughes<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

How did you and Stephen meet?<\/strong>
Stephen and I met at Hogmanay in Edinburgh. By chance, the festivities had been cancelled due to bad weather, and we both ended up in the same bar. We were together for about five years before we got married in 2011. We always knew we wanted to have children so we started trying straight after the wedding. I\u2019ve always had irregular periods, so we knew it was unlikely to be easy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How did it go at the start?<\/strong>
When trying naturally didn\u2019t get us anywhere, we did eight rounds of Clomid. Unfortunately that also did nothing. However, in the process to trying it we met a really wonderful NHS doctor. He told us about a trial he had heard of for people with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) like me, and recommended I put myself forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What did the trial involve?<\/strong>
It was with Imperial College London, looking into using a naturally-occurring hormone called kisspeptin to help trigger the egg release. Ordinarily in IVF, egg release is triggered by human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG). However, for people with PCOS, this process carries a high risk of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS). The researchers wanted to see if kisspeptin might be a good alternative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Was it successful?<\/strong>
It was fantastic \u2013 essentially by being part of the trial, we got that first round of IVF free. Everything went very well, and we ended up with six embryos from it. More luckily still, one of those implanted successfully \u2013 we were pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was 2014 and we couldn\u2019t have been happier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, the pregnancy did not go smoothly. We had a series of issues, and at 15 weeks, my waters broke. Henry fought on for two more weeks, but unfortunately at 17 weeks, we lost him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That must have been incredibly hard \u2013 how did you cope with your baby loss?<\/strong>
It\u2019s so hard, if you lose a child, at any stage. It was so raw. If I\u2019m honest, it still is raw at times. While I can now look at Henry\u2019s short time with us in a positive light (being able to do things such as this interview, for example), it does still hit me sometimes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fortunately the nurse who was with us when we had Henry was wonderful. I\u2019m actually still in touch with her now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m sure everyone deals with things differently, but one of our ways of coping with baby loss was to put together memory boxes to help people going through a similar situation to ours. We\u2019ve also kept up a tradition of donating Christmas gifts to the children\u2019s ward at the hospital where we had all three of our boys. My mum works for the local council and they have donated presents with us for many years, so we are lucky to have donated hundreds of gifts in Henry\u2019s memory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When did you consider trying again for another child?<\/strong>
I found it really hard to make the decision to go ahead and try again after we had Henry. I felt terribly guilty, but also knew that we wanted to have a baby here with us. Four months after we lost him, we decided to try again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Luckily we still had frozen embryos left from the trial that had given us Henry. In 2014 we used one of these to have our son, Samuel. The nurse who looked after Samuel when he was in NICU for three weeks (he was born at 33 weeks) is actually best friends with the nurse who was with us when I delivered Henry \u2013 it was amazing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019d always wanted to have siblings. Unfortunately by 2020, after self-funding our treatment to have Samuel, and using up the remaining frozen embryos, we needed to then look at paying for a fresh round.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How did you find out about Access Fertility?<\/strong>
We\u2019d made the move to Boston Place clinic in London as it was more convenient for us, travelling in from Hertfordshire. That\u2019s where we had the round that gave us Samuel, and it was important to me to stay with the team at Boston Place; they were so supportive throughout all of our treatment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019d always recalled seeing the Access Fertility poster on the many, many times I\u2019d sat in the clinic waiting room. Then, when we were faced with having to start another fresh cycle, the clinic\u2019s finance team recommended it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What were your first impressions of Access Fertility\u2019s programmes?<\/strong>
It seemed like a cushion \u2013 I understood that if this is something we wanted to continue with, then we\u2019d have the security of knowing there was another cycle if it didn\u2019t work out, and many frozen transfers as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Typically, due to the kind of person I am, I read all the fine print so many times, trying to see the catch. But after understanding all the detail, I was left with the feeling that it would just take the edge off things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s such a stressful time, if you can park some of the worry, that really helps. It\u2019s a lot of money, but at the rate we were going, it was less than we\u2019d have paid direct. I remember when it was all sorted, I thought to myself \u2018right, I can just focus now on the rounds themselves\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What happened on that next stage in your journey?<\/strong>
Naively, because I\u2019d become pregnant on rounds one and two, I expected everything to work really easily. Sadly, the next three rounds hadn\u2019t worked, which is why we came to do the fresh round.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was feeling really down about it all by that point, I wasn\u2019t in a good place. We did a fresh cycle, which sadly didn\u2019t work, and at that point, I said \u201cI don\u2019t know if I can do another one.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We left it a while, but by this point, Covid had arrived. We decided we wanted to go ahead with another frozen cycle. Boston Place were incredible throughout, but especially that round. I wanted to throw everything at it and try anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the pandemic, the last thing I wanted to do was head into central London and risk contracting Covid, which would mean the IVF couldn\u2019t go ahead. However, the last trip to the clinic proved to be a monumental change in our luck. It was the very last day before the IVF clinics would close for another lockdown. The transfer was a success, and the seventh cycle turned out to create our little Rory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"baby
Photo credit: Stephanie Hughes<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Would you recommend Access Fertility?<\/strong>
Yes, I would. I think it\u2019s such a huge investment in a number of ways when you do IVF. Emotionally it takes so much out of you, and there\u2019s no way round it, it\u2019s unbelievably expensive. But this takes the edge off, knowing you\u2019ve paid up front for your treatment, outside the medication, that is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What advice would you give to someone undergoing IVF, and who might experience baby loss?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n