Infertility and TTC can make you feel that you have no control. However there are things you can do to increase your chances of having a peaceful and pleasant Christmas. It’s worth doing some thoughtful planning ahead to help reduce the pressure, stress and sadness that you might feel.
Many of these things have been mentioned in the other articles about coping at Christmas, so we have created a summary here the top tips but with the focus on activities you can do to proactively to take back some control this festive season.
Sounds rather daft, having to mentally prepare yourself for Christmas, but undoubtedly it makes sense. If you know that you are going to be asked awkward questions, think about what they might be and construct appropriate responses beforehand to prevent yourself getting flustered when they pop up in conversation.
Let people in
If you are invited to big family events, let your close relations know prior that you are struggling. You might be surprised at how supportive people are.
If you don’t want to go to an event, then don’t! If you have a large family and know that all your siblings and their children will be there and, as much as you love them, you know you may struggle to cope, don’t go. And there’s no need to feel guilty. You already have enough to deal with.
However, if you feel you can manage these events, never underestimate the power of positive thought. Playing out in your mind how the event will go, understanding that children will be there and that you are going to have a good time regardless, can help some people to measure their emotions and join in with the festive celebrations.
Don’t isolate yourself from everyone
Confide in people you feel comfortable to tell. If you have friends without children, make arrangements with them to do something fun.
A holiday? A spa day? A night out with the girls? A new dress? If there is something, or a few things, that you can pepper the festive season with to give yourself another focus, or something to look forward to, then do it.
Try out new relaxation techniques or go for a massage. Christmas is a stressful time for many and managing that stress can help with your overall approach.
Try and spend some time outdoors, not only will it boost your Vitamin D levels, the fresh air and exercise will make you feel better.
Emotions are ok
Anticipate that your emotions will be up and down and that this is quite normal and to be expected. Reach out for support when you need it and let others help you through.
You are not alone
It’s also important to understand that you are not alone. Many couples with fertility issues are experiencing the same feelings this Christmas. We would always recommend that you contact support groups to connect with others in your situation.